Your Negativity Ends Here

Today is your day. Your negativity must end here.

A few months ago, I was miserable. I wasn’t able to pay my bills, I was trying to build a business out of nothing, I was learning how to be a single mom. My life was changed completely. It was not the first time I was in this place - but it was the last.

See, before I finally ditched my bad attitude, I was only looking at what I didn’t have. Comparing myself to what I used to have and who I used to be. I would compare myself to others. Why didn’t I have what they had? I worked hard. I lived a life filled with turmoil. I was here on a mission to change lives. So why was it so difficult for me to have what “they” had.

The problem was, due to the comparisons to others, I was only making things worse for myself.

I was listening to a podcast about this very subject by Ed Myelett and it really got me thinking. It’s so true: our unhappiness stems from the comparisons we make on a daily basis.

The problem is, we are allowing the comparisons to pull us down even further. We are allowing them to dictate how to proceed. We are allowing them to take over our mental stability. We shut down because of them. We decide, “today, I am just going to sit here and watch tv, because that will make me feel better.”

In reality, the underlying issue is still there. We haven’t solved anything by trying to hide from it. We do what another renowned speaker said recently - we “non-confront.” We say things like, “if I just drink this beer and hang out, all my problems will go away - I will FEEL better.” But do you really? Do the problems really go away, or are they just temporarily put on hold?

Think about it for a minute - how often are your thoughts in a negative state?

I am truly grateful that I have been led by a higher being than me. I could not have picked myself up. Someone picked me up. I did have to look into the mirror thought. Who was I trying to fool? I wasn’t fooling anyone? I didn’t smile much. I was just unhappy. But it was ME who was making me unhappy.

Then something happened and better people started coming into my life. They gave me hope. I realized that I was the person my daughter was looking up to. How could I let her down by being in a negative state all the time? How could I do that to her?

See, the problems weren’t going away. They would compound. I thought if I just put them to the side, they would go away. That was definitely NOT the case. They just got worse because I kept doing the comparisons. I would stress about things that hadn’t even happened yet. I had to get out of that state of mind before the whole world came crashing down. All the while, people who didn’t know me thought I was fine. I put on a front. I faked it. I smiled when I wanted to cry.

Again, this was not the first time I was confronted by my own mindset. Therefore, I knew when it got bad, I had to pick myself up. I had to walk in Faith. I had to let go of the comparisons of who I wanted to be and focus on who I am. I have more than so many people. I have a roof over my head and even when times are tough financially, I figure something out. I find a way to make things happen. I know that walking around the problem isn’t going to fix the problem.

So today, I challenge you to stop comparing yourself, your relationships, your business, your job, and your financial situation to others. Stop comparing it to what you USED to have. Start putting one foot in front of the other and focus more on what you COULD have if you actually started confronting life instead of trying to walk around it. You can never just be a passerby in this thing we call life. You and I are IN IT. We are what makes this world continue.

Choose today whether you are going to be that person on the street who does what everyone else does and smiles a fake smile, or are you going to think about what you have, the fact you are alive and well, and smile that smile that gives you and the others around you life? I will tell you, smiling the real smile has made me a happier person all around. I have also noticed that it makes others around me happier. When you see someone walking by and they look like they might not be having the greatest day, smile, say, “Hi, how are you?” and see how your positivity becomes contagious.

I have personally noticed that when I intentionally speak to someone out of the blue, it changes their attitude. June 5 is National Attitude Day. Let’s change the way we look at life, the way we compare ourselves and let the wrong visions pull us down. Instead, let the comparisons fuel your fire. That’s what I had to do. I had to finally take a stand in my life, say enough is enough, and let the life I want be what gets me going day in and day out.

Is it perfect? Is everyday peachy? Not at all. BUT, by implementing the things I talk about all the time - starting the day thinking about what you have instead of what you don’t have, smiling even when you may not want to smile, speaking to others around you, and just being an all-around good person - you may find that you become more fulfilled in your life.

Do you know how many people are out there who have absolutely nothing, but are completely fulfilled? There are many. They don’t need to have a whole lot. They just appreciate life. They embrace each day and deal with the battles as they come. They don’t ask, “why is this happening to me?” They ask, “why is this happening FOR me?” Try it. It doesn’t cost anything. Happiness is free. You just have to choose happiness over discontent and empty comparisons. You have to do that. No one else can do it for you.

Today is your day. Don’t let it pass you by.

Be uncomfortable until it becomes comfortable. Be the change. Be the person you would want to be around.

Be uncomfortable until it becomes comfortable. Be the change. Be the person you would want to be around.

Reprogramming Your Mind

Proactive Versus Reactive: Which One Are You?